when you are this way you think you are god

Tue, 30 May 2006 07:18:33 GMT

Fri, 05 May 2006 08:30:52 GMT

you want me
well fucking come and find me

you want me
well come on and break the door down
i'm ready

Wed, 03 May 2006 09:54:21 GMT

so if you didn't already know...

Tue, 02 May 2006 22:02:20 GMT

On Friday April 21st at around 7am, I woke up to a horrific message being left on my machine;
Dustin screaming that he was just hit by a transit bus.

Luckily he was just down the street at No.2 Rd & Westminster Hwy, where it occurred.
Though he was calling from Chevron. I got there within 2 minutes, and as soon as I did
I called Richmond RCMP and had them attend the scene.

The bus driver wasn't even aware she had hit Dustin and had already left the scene, leaving Dustin & his bike crippled just outside the intersection.

The Transit Supervisor also attended.
The Constable took digital photos of Dustins bike, and an audio recorded statement.
We were there about an hour in total, including all the waiting around for people.

He didn't need an ambulance.
He was only complaining of leg pain, and shock I suppose.
I told the Constable I would be taking him to the clinic, as opposed to Emergency, because it
wasn't "that bad".

Throw in a 2 hour interview with ICBC, 3 doctor visits, and walking with a cane for a week...

He's all better now.
I believe he's drumming completely back where he was prior to the accident...
but he's still taking it easy.

The doctor said that at most he may have bone fractures in his ankle, severe leg bruising, and his knee was twisted out of shape. Hopefully...it's nothing long term.

The punchline?
Not one person stopped to see if he was okay.
Not only did people continue to get ONTO the bus after it hit Dustin...
But it would appear that cars drove around him.
He thinks people just assumed he fell off his bike...

Still. The general public astounds me.
Especially given my job...
The amount of people who refuse to give me any of their details or stick around for police attendance because they "DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED!" is insane.
Morons. Just wait until you need help.

Sat, 15 Apr 2006 02:21:22 GMT

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 09:14:45 GMT

now i rise from my knees. i will not live in misery.
you won't take me. you will not destroy me.
you cannot destroy me. and i'll fight you with every
ounce of strength i have left, and i'll seal it with a
bullet and a kiss. so look at your fucking horror. horror.
i want to see your face. show me your true face.
my heart belongs to you, so save me.

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 10:02:50 GMT

Maybe you have to be a part of the Emergency Industry to understand...

Dedicated to Paramedics, Fire and Police Officers and their Dispatchers:

I wish you could comprehend a wife's horror at 6 in the morning as I check her husband of 40 years for a pulse and find none. I start CPR anyway, hoping to bring him back, knowing intuitively it is too late. But wanting his wife and family to know everything possible was done to try and save his life.

I wish you knew the unique smell of burning insulation, the taste of soot-filled mucus, the feeling of intense heat through your turnout gear, the sound of flames crackling, the eeriness of being able to see absolutely nothing in dense smoke-sensations that I've become too familiar with.

I wish you could read my mind as I respond to a call, Is this a false alarm or a working fire? How is the building constructed? What Hazards await me? Is anyone trapped?". Or to call and ask what is wrong with the patient? Is it minor or life threatening? Is the caller really in distress or is he waiting for us with a 2x4 or a gun?

I wish you could be in the emergency room, as a doctor pronounces dead, the beautiful five-year old girl that I have been trying to save during the past 25 minutes, knowing she will never go on her first date or say the words, "I love you Mommy", ever again.

I wish you could know the frustration I feel in the cab of the ambulance or engine or cruiser, the driver with his foot pressing down hard on the pedal, my arm tugging again and again at the air horn chain, as you fail to yield the right-of-way at an intersection or in traffic. When you need us however, your first comment upon our arrival will be, "It took you forever to get here!"

I wish you could know my thoughts as I help extricate a girl of teenage years from the remains of her automobile. What if this was my daughter, sister, my girlfriend or a friend? What were her parents reaction going to be when they opened the door to find a police officer with hat in hand?

I wish you could know how it feels to walk in the back door and greet my parents and family, not having the heart to tell them that I nearly did not come back from the last call.

I wish you could know how it feels dispatching officers, firefighters and Paramedics out and when we call for them and our heart drops because no one answers back or to hear a bone chilling 911 call of a child or wife needing assistance.

I wish you could feel the hurt as people verbally and sometimes physically abuse us or belittle what we do, or as they express their attitudes of "It will never happen to me".

I wish you could realize the physical, emotional and mental drain of missed meals, lost sleep and forgone social activities, in addition to all the tragedy my eyes have seen.

I wish you could know the brotherhood and self-satisfaction of helping save a life or preserving someone's property, or being able to be there in time of crisis, or creating order from total chaos.

I wish you could understand what it feels like to have a little boy tugging at your arm and asking, "Is my Mommy okay?", not even being able to look in his eyes without tears from your own and not knowing what to say. Or to have to hold back a long time friend who watches his buddy having CPR done on him as they take him away in the Medic Unit. You know all along he did not have his seat belt
on. A sensation that I have become too familiar with.

Unless you have lived with this kind of life, you will never truly understand or appreciate who I am, we are, or what our job really means to us...I wish you could though.

APPRECIATE AND SUPPORT THE LOCAL POLICE
OFFICERS, EMS PARAMEDICS, FIREFIGHTERS, and 911 DISPATCHERS
IN YOUR AREA. ONE DAY THEY'LL PROBABLY BE SAVING YOUR
PROPERTY OR YOUR OWN LIFE. WHEN YOU SEE THEM COMING WITH
LIGHTS FLASHING, MOVE OUT OF THE WAY QUICKLY, and THEN PRAY FOR THEM

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 02:42:57 GMT

this is everything I wanted to tell you
i'm still in love with everything about you
i feel the wreckage from everything you do
and I'm tired of still waiting

if I told you the truth now,
would you still leave
and take my heart
and I still feel ugly
and you're ugly just like me

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 09:53:26 GMT

A P R I L
T H I R T E E N T H

Chimaira couldn't be coming at a better time.
Everything in my life is really unsettled right now.
Everything.

At least I have something to look forward to.

I need some live Mark in life right about now.
You can bet your ass it will be a very theraputic night for moi.

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 12:11:20 GMT

Okay, is it just me...
or does almost every female (and some guys?) on the internet
(and by that I mean myspace) have a picture like

Now, on to other cliche digi-cam photos that I am clearly guilty of (though these are a little less 'emoticon' than the oh-so-popular shocked/surprised/pseudo-scared expression)

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 09:40:01 GMT

January
"So I'm in the process of giving my bedroom a makeover."

February
"**HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO ME. LITTLE MISS.TWENTY-TWO**"

March
"oh yeah. my dad is in china right now. what the...?"

April
"I bought this painting today..."

May
"I think my mailman has a crush on me..."

June
"Who got flowers from a cop? that's right. I did!"

July
"hi.i'm making a new car c.d. i need you to suggest songs."

August
"Last night around 3am I awoke to a car alarm going off across the street from me."

September
"'can't sleep with all this frustration, intoxication. i no longer have regret'"

October
"assault w/ weapon
(click it)

i took that 911
welcome to my job"

November
"48 sleeps until Christmas!"

December
"Oh yeah, did I forget to tell you?? I CUT MY FUCKING HAIR"

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 07:58:16 GMT

Dear me;;

Happy 5 year Anniversary

Love, November Twenty-Six.

p.s.

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 12:27:19 GMT

Saturday November 26 2005
is my 5 year anniversary with Dustin.

Five whole years.

more on that later

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 11:16:08 GMT

okay you can't tell, but i'm pulling my hair to the right, you just can't see my hand. so the picture may look retarded, but i have good reason.

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 23:44:42 GMT

Current Clothes: navy blue Vancouver Police jogging pants, black tank top.
Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: Convalescence (by) Darkest Hour
Current Taste: diet coke w/ ice
Current Hair: straight, up in a ponytail.
Current Annoyance: fear
Current Smell: milk&honey body wash
Current thing I ought to be doing: spilling my heart?
Current Desktop Picture: Bam Margera
Current Favorite Group: Chimaira
Current Book: not a reader
Current DVD In Player: A Charlie Brown Christmas
Current Refreshment: diet coke w/ ice
Current Worry: you name it, i'm worried about it.
Current Crush: him
Current Favorite Celebrity: Sheri Moon Zombie

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 21:00:32 GMT

48 sleeps until Christmas!

Fri, 21 Oct 2005 09:02:13 GMT

assault w/ weapon
(click it)

i took that 911

welcome to my job

more relevant, lengthly, interesting posts to follow in the near future.
promise.

Tue, 27 Sep 2005 08:36:15 GMT

can't sleep with all this frustration, intoxication
i no longer have regret
...

...
i am here to expose you
all of the poison that you take
all people you violate
your faith can't save you now

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 09:52:13 GMT

Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week

...

I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 09:43:51 GMT

I can see her now
Dancing around, her drink in hand
All her baggage in tow
I just want to fucking let her go
Of all the joy, all of the pain
I took your guilt and placed it into me
And now I kiss it goodbye
Our last dance ended fatall

Who's sleeping on my side of the bed tonight?
Have you ever cried so hard?
Baby you just died

There she goes again
Another masquerade in false circumstance
She'll fuck you just for the taste
I just wish I could replace all the memories
Of what makes my blood run cold
And as your blood flows through me
I say goodbye to what we had

She came and went
I gnawed through my lip
Makeup smeared in her eyes
Each sob's a reason to say goodbye.
Sometimes when you're holding on
You'll never see the light

With flowers in her hair
I gazed upon with dead lovers eyes
She never looked so good
And I never felt so right

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 08:54:00 GMT

my dog Chelsea in her standard pose at my window.

oh how I do NOT miss my old job at the dog groomers.

among my list of favourite dogs, a Mastiff.

Chuck motherfucking Lidell

and again

and again

i want this dress

dUstin

my cat, Gidget.

my desktop<3

lkdfjaoidsfaetadlfkafd

and now, random pictures of my house:

backyard

backyard #2 (there's a hot tub further to the left)

family room

family room #2

one of my dad's paintings

dining room

living room

guest room

now wasn't that entertaining?

| turning tables |

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 09:59:27 GMT

Last night around 3am I awoke to a car alarm going off across the street from me.
The guy that lives there has the same car as me (only newer and sportier), a stereo system, as well as an alarm. So anyways I look out my window instantly to see this fucking asshole running away with my neighbours speakers on his shoulders (oh this is while he is trying to run...with a bike) so I grab my phone, call 911 (HA!) get a girl I used to work with at West Van(!) and tell her that a theft from auto just occurred blah blah blah. Had little to no description of the male, but we're looking at like a 30 second time delay, max. Plus I know where he ran, right thru a path into this park.

So while I'm on the phone with Richmond RCMP I see this cab at the very end of my street all of a sudden speed away (uh. yeah. duh. there goes our suspect. so where's your bike?) So by now buddy and his family have come outside. I tell them that I've got police on the way and they're thanking me and asking me questions about what happened. So I tell them what I saw, tell them I'm a police dispatcher so they're aware that I gave 911 all the pertinent info...etc. Within 2 minutes there was a member on scene. Told her the same thing, we discussed time delay and mode of transportation for our suspect for a moment, then I took my scantilly clad ass back into the house to go back to bed.

But then I got up, went back downstairs, and pulled my car into the garage.
(I mean, if my job has taught me anything? they come back)

I get home from answering my own 911's about an hour ago and my mom left me a note on the stairs. Apparently my neighbour came over while I was at work to say that they found his speakers, in the pathway, to the park. Mr.Theft from Auto couldn't drag them any further, so he dumped them there.

A) weakest thief. ever.
2) way to leave your prints all over the property and on the same street as the scene of the crime. Are you new?

Another thing my job has taught me?
HOW TO BE A BRIGHT FUCKING CRIMINAL.

So they expressed their extended thanks and brought me sushi!

Which I hate.
So my mom made the right decision in eating it herself.

Ta Da!

yes i did it

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 21:16:58 GMT

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet pat_hetic? it was a swing set, right?
2.~What would you do if you had never met azathothx? i'm not sure. i would have survived though.
3.~What do you honestly think of faerie_bad? i honestly don't know her well enough.
4.~Would or did pat_hetic and invertusin go out? no & no
5.~Have you ever liked pat_hetic? only as a PATCHU!
6.~If devilsatan died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? he already knows it all.
7.~Would atthegates and pat_hetic make a good couple? that's a negatory
8.~Describe mickd22 in 3 words: intelligent. hillarious. yearsaheadofhistime.
9.~Do you think salina_ is hot? of course!
10.~Would devilsatan and pat_hetic make a lovely couple? nope.
11.~What do you think of when you see invertusin? meshuuuuuuuuuugah!
12.~Tell me something humiliating about pat_hetic: i don't think i know anything humiliating? and if i did i wouldn't tell YOU!
13.~Do you know any of lusus's family members? i do not.
14.~What's pat_hetic's favorite color? um. hardcore?
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is pat_hetic? 11 baby.
16.~What would you do if maybewewontwake just professed their undying love for you? i'd be so much more confused than i already am!
17.~What language does pat_hetic speak? engrish
18.~Who is pat_hetic going out with? that's a good question MR.NEVER HANGS OUT WITH ME ANYMORE!
19.~Is detaintheskin a boy or a girl? a giiiiiiiiiiirl
20.~Would pat_hetic and maybewewontwake make a good couple? nope
21.~Who do you think xgirlsc0utx would be great with from this list? i don't think they're on this list. i don't know her type anymore?!
22.~When was the last time you talked to salina_? like 30 minutes ago.
23.~What is pat_hetic's favorite band? i should know this. i should.
24.~Does atthegates have any siblings? not sure.
25.~Would you ever date lusus? nope.
26.~Would you ever date mickd22? nope.
27.~Is xgirlsc0utx single? i......have no idea.
28.~What is pat_hetic's last name? buckle!
29.~What is pat_hetic's middle name? no idea!
30~What is faerie_bad's fantasy? something about dez?
31.~Where does detaintheskin live? down by the bay, where the hardcore christians grow.
32.~Would you make out with pat_hetic? nope.
33.~Are azathothx and lusus best friends? nope.
34.~Does mickd22 like pat_hetic? they don't know eachother as far as i know!
35.~How did you meet pat_hetic? it was a swing set, right?
36.~Is salina_ older than you? yep. grandma!
37.~Is pat_hetic the sexiest person alive? duh

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 02:29:44 GMT

new shoes.
they strap up the leg a bit, but you can't see that in this picture.

made in brazil

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 08:02:10 GMT

one fucking week